Life can get pretty hectic when you’ve said “I do” to bridesmaid duties. Besides being moral support and an extra pair of hands for crafting paper lanterns, you might also walk into a firestorm of bride-to-be emotions. It’s understandable that’s she’s stressed and has a million things to do within a small time frame, but how do you handle someone who’s toeing the line between tolerable and tyrannical? Follow these tips to help fan the flames.
Go with the flow. It’s kind of like choosing your battles when it comes to dealing with a demanding bride-to-be. Sometimes it’s just easier and less stressful to take the backseat and let her drive. It is her wedding after all, and you know that in the end she’ll return to her normal, lovable self. You can also ask yourself, “Will this matter in 10 years?” after spending a Saturday licking envelopes and folding napkins. Chances are it won’t matter 10 months afterward, much less 10 years. So take a deep breath and move through this time with a smile on your face.
Help her relax. Distract the bride-to-be from all her duties and stresses with a day doing something she loves to do. Go shopping, head to the spa, take a yoga class and drink green smoothies afterward. You could even suggest you’ll pay if she promises to drop wedding speak for a day. The point is to get her mind off planning the perfect wedding and remind her that there’s still life out there.
Listen. On the other side of distraction is lending your ears and letting her rant and rave about all things wedding. She may have been demanding because of expectations she feels she can’t live up to and all the normal stresses of trying to plan a wedding. Maybe her mom is driving her crazy or the vendors can’t get it together. Whatever the case, sit down with her for a heart-to-heart and let her vent. Getting it out in the open is sure to take a weight off her shoulders.
Let yourself vent. Not necessarily to the bride-to-be, but gather the other bridesmaids for a vent session. That’s not to say it’s okay to totally bash the bride behind her back, but sometimes it’s nice to talk to others who are going through the same thing.
Negotiate. Whether you’re on a budget or not, there’s something about taking out a loan for a destination bachelorette party overseas or a bridesmaid dress that’s more expensive than your rent that doesn’t quite sit well. This also goes for crazy demands like taking vacation time to work around her schedule or staying up until 5 a.m. making decorations on a work night. These types of situations call for negotiations and sit-downs over coffee to remind the bride-to-be that you’re doing your best, but you’re not superwoman. Give her a few alternatives, like a more affordable resort in town or a reasonable time to help her with menial tasks.
Say, I don’t. If all else fails and the bride-to-be has crossed your last line, consider dropping out of the bridal party. You can only sacrifice so much and hopefully the friendship won’t be broken as a result. Keep these tips in mind when dropping out of the wedding party.