Photo credit: Brooke Price via The Bridal Detective
There are lots of reasons why a friendship might fall to pieces and big changes, like a friend getting engaged or married, can often lead to broken ties because of the stress, transition, and overwhelming emotions that bubble up over time. Under certain situations it’s best to let the friendship go (maybe you’ve just grown apart), but sometimes it’s worth salvaging. If you’re feeling the latter is the path you should take, here are some tips on rekindling the relationship.
1) Keep in mind that it’s not one person’s fault. This should help any unforgiveness issues dissipate and allow you to approach her with your concerns without placing blame. Let her know that you miss the friendship and would like to talk things over. Just make sure that you’ve had enough time to collect your thoughts and ease any tension from the fight. Going into the conversation still flared up from whatever happened between you two will only lead to more chaos.
2) Say you’re sorry, even if she hasn’t yet. Oftentimes, people don’t apologize because they’re afraid of getting their pride hurt. Hearing you say you’re sorry first will ease the tension and allow your friend to do the same.
3) If you want to keep the conversation moving in the right direction, stay calm and open to what your friend has to say. Acknowledge her feelings and don’t rush to defend your point of view, as it can lead to her doing the same. Imagine voices getting louder and nothing getting heard. A level head will help the two of you work things out much faster than a screaming match.
4) Be patient. Maybe your friend needs more time to think about things. Maybe you need more time. Whatever the case, reconciliation takes time. Have patience and remember that taking the slow and steady approach to rebuilding the friendship may lead to a stronger relationship than the one you had.
5) Consider writing a note to your friend if meeting in person is too much at first. Sometimes it’s easier to say what’s on your mind in writing and can unveil more heartfelt emotions. It can be an email or handwritten, whatever feels most comfortable to you. And you don’t even have to send it. If you’d like, just get the emotions on paper to help clear your head and lead to a better face-to-face meeting.
In the end, life is short, so don’t get too hung up on whether the friendship flies or fails. If it doesn’t work out, just chalk it up to an expired relationship and move on. At least you’ll know you tried.
