Photo by: Peter&Veronika Photography via Belle the Magazine
It’s not always the bride who goes a little crazy during the wedding planning stage. Sometimes those closest to the bride, like the bridesmaids, are the ones at fault. On the one hand they’re the bride’s greatest support system, willing to help her, offer advice, and lend an ear during all the stressful times. But on the other hand some bridesmaids can get carried away and cause all kinds of problems for the rest of the bridal party and the bride. So what’s a bride to do when one of these bridesmaid-zillas rears her ugly head? Here are a few things to keep in mind:
Honesty
If you’re going to have a few expectations of the bridal party, like that they purchase a certain dress brand or spend ‘x’ amount of money on accessories, sit them down and be honest about what you expect and your vision for the wedding so they’re aware up front. Doing so leaves less room for unwanted surprises later on, which leads to less angry ‘maids. It also gives everyone a chance to pitch in, come to comprises, or leave the bridal party if the expectations can’t be met.
Communication
Keep open communication with your bridesmaids and let them know that if they have any problems or concerns that they’re welcome to come to you and discuss. Communication is key in any relationship and especially when the relationship is a team effort. At the same time, if you have a concern or issue with something or someone don’t brush it under the rug and let the stress build up. Talk it out, share how you feel, and things will go much smoother.
Flexibility
If things aren’t happening exactly as you had planned, don’t take it out on the bridal party. Understand that, though you may have a vision of how you want things to go down, that vision may change. For example, if a bridesmaid is being difficult because she can’t afford the dress or doesn’t like the way it fits, consider a compromise. Of course, plans shouldn’t change because of one person, but to deal with a difficult person in the best way possible you have to consider where they’re coming from and create a solution to the problem. Stay flexible and open to suggestions.
Appreciation
A bridesmaid may become difficult because she doesn’t feel appreciated. Everyone loves a token of praise every now and then. Remember to let your bridesmaids know how much you appreciate their help, support, and friendship and that you couldn’t do what you’re doing without them.
Respect
You only get what you give, so if you expect your bridesmaids to respect and support you, you need to show the same consideration for them. Consider why one of your bridesmaids feels the way she does. Is she stressed from work? Adding more wedding to-dos to her list probably isn’t the best idea. Did she just break up with her boyfriend? Asking her to dress shop with you might not be appropriate. The point is, bridesmaids have a life of their own, and although they’ve promised to be by your side, it doesn’t mean life doesn’t happen. If a bridesmaid acts out, don’t take it personally until you know the real reason why. Respect her feelings and she’ll be more likely to respect yours.
